There was love inside your heart but it was a twisted virus
you build a fantasy world and we were forced to live inside it.
Mom with short hair, velour sweatshirt on my frame.
A picture perfect pose but the feeling was strained.
The longer you lived, the less of you that there was.
Forget about forgiveness, I'm not holding a grudge.
Let's a tip toe around the minefield of you.
And force ourselves to take one more bite of your stew
Lipstick as red as the blood that you drew.
Killing them with kindness, yep you bludgeoned them too.
A path through your house between boxes and bags.
Growing from the walls and it was sad
When you hit the hospital, mom and her brothers swooped by
Rented a dumpster and threw away half the junk you’d acquired
I only said I loved you, I never claimed to care
Mom saw that I was born with armor, I came prepared
Cause I’m a cold hearted soul chip off the old block type
Mercurochrome reddened knees, hydrogen peroxide
scattering your ashes on the beaches I once roamed
Now 32 Kennebec’s a happier home
Clipping coupons for the sake of saving bucks you’d never spend
A tub of junk overflowing to the desperate end
People’d think you ran an orphanage, well guess again
Each passing year you lived, you lived it less a friend
If I needed a toothbrush, I could always hit up Long Beach
God knows, you had about 200, c’mon geez
Remember the promise I’d get the '64 Falcon
Of course you didn’t, it’s disappearance was the outcome
Taking a bite of your Christmas chocolate and I tasted bleach
Must’ve stored it in your laundry for years, days, and weeks
A nasty nod to your habit of keeping everything
The great depression left you clutching onto any petty thing
You’d send clippings from stuff you thought that I’d like
It went from the mailbox straight to the dumpster that night
To be fair, you probably needed meds and intensive therapy
Instead you took it out on your fam and left them all scared to breathe
You played chess with family members your pawns
Pretty sure you had a pair of shoes of moms that were bronzed
The actress with an audience taught to listen and watch closely
Applauding every line you ever uttered with most grief
Granddad’s escape from you was his rose garden
That was his world that let him fold in every margin
You were the first person to teach me that a smile could lie
False sincerity, laid on thick and you piled it high
So I don’t sweat the passive aggressive, no way I do
I was trained by the best, ‘cause I was trained by you
You used the threat of skin cancer to steal granddad’s solace
No more growing roses, you trapped him, the plan flawless
He got to escape by being the first to die, resting in peace
I got to visit before all the stroke and the sleep
Basically, you were dead to me before you even passed
Life's too short to drink poison straight from the glass
Started following Juga-Naut upon hearing him break down life and rap relating to Kool G Rap on Crate808 and I've been a fan since. Wordplay, skill, the dope backdrops, what's not to love? Sankofa